This Full Moon Had Me Gutted: Plight of a Witch Ca...

This Full Moon Had Me Gutted: Plight of a Witch Caught Unawares

For all of my Witch’s know-how, I never saw it coming. Her million-beamed, white-as-milk but sharp-as-tungsten-needles fem-force of holy destruction pierced my butter-soft skin from behind and penetrated through every too-forgiving tissue, leaving my bones in bits and my guts shredded and spilling out from the back of my heart like a cornucopia of full moon horror. I lay on the ground bleeding away every conviction and tight-gripped dream, giving my best hand-made rug a new color, and whimpering why-mes.

I should have seen it coming, Her always graceful but never subtle fury of dark Goddess wrath that always leaves me whimpering as if I’ve been betrayed by a fickle lover and not come face-to-face with the truest essence of the primal feminine divine. This full moon had me gutted, but I stood and tried to fight with what little will I had left. I tossed all my incubating spell-jars into the garden, begging Her to accept them as sacrifice and leave me be. She didn’t listen, and this time Her blades cut through the plates of my skull and the curves of my pelvis, crushing my lofty spirituality and sending me spinning into a soul-deep spiral of grief and shadow from which I thought I would never ascend lest I be rescued by the childhood angels I never believed in.

I surrendered to Her completely, sleeping in my overgrown garden and asking Her to have Her wicked way with me and be done with it. She must have pitied me; I woke this morning exhausted but unexpectedly whole, crawling with slugs and winged creatures who whispered affirmations in my ear and spit healing slime on my scarred-over moon-wounds. It’s not yet over, I think, but this Witch needed strong coffee and word medicine. I thought it would all seem a dream after moonset, after my beloved lunar demoness had gone westward to wreak Her havoc, but I can still feel Her frigid fingers curled around my ribs and poking at my slow-beating heart.

Danielle Dulsky

Danielle Dulsky is a long-time activist for wild woman spirituality and the divine feminine’s return. She is the author of Woman Most Wild (coming May 2017 from New World Library). A multi-media artist, yoga teacher and teacher trainer, and energy worker, Danielle is on a mission to inspire women to be fearless...